Recalculating

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don’t much care where--" said Alice.
"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"--so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you’re sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

-Lewis Carroll (Alice in Wonderland)

We were clearly lost, traveling as many miles as the words we spoke: too many and completely wrong. My cold words finally crushed that kid, that kid who was the All-Met Washington Post champion against them, that kid who fought and won every battle of my heart. We were clearly lost, begging the GPS to take us back to our final destination: home, where the heart is.

Recalculating.

That word, like a broken record, repeated on in the car with that kid; that word, like a broken record, that repeated on in my heart. While a GPS can navigate you from point A to point B, regardless of how many wrong turns you have encountered since point A, I could only wish of a GPS that could navigate me from point A to my point B, a GPS that could direct me through step-by-step instructions to my heart, regardless of how many wrong turns I had made since point A. As each "recalculation" was computed, I could not help but wonder, how many wrong turns until the final destination? The final destination being my home; the final destination being my solution to where the heart is.

Too many miles traveled and completely wrong words spoken later, we had arrived home. Yet not even a GPS could manage to direct us away from a fork in the road, the torn decision in my heart.

Recalculating.

While I am no longer lost in the car, I find myself constantly questioning, "are we there yet?" All I know is that once I am there, I will no longer have to wonder how many wrong turns until I reach the final destination. All I know is that once I am there, there will be nothing more to recalculate.