"It's not you, it's me.": An infamous arrangement of words, possibly considered the most universal, renown break-up line.
**that is my personal definition, not just a copy and paste definition from urban dictionary.
Remember how I decided to do a "word of the month"? Well last month, my "word of the month" helped me acquire a part of myself I had never realized until now. With every failed relationship I was in, whether friendship or more, I have questioned myself. With every failed relationship, it seems as if I have dissected every little action I contributed to. My mentality: what did I do wrong? Notice this question does not consider the other side of the relationship or the dilemmas partaken during the relationship. Rather, this question investigates only myself. If you are wondering, my "word of the month" was empowerment. But where does empowerment chime in? Empowerment answers my profound, never-ending, contemplating question: it is and should not always conclude to what I did wrong. I should not believe "it's not you, it's me", but instead look at it as: "it's not me, it's you."
You, being my past.
The past like weight on my shoulders. But this gravity, I am letting go. And as a new month approaches, I will embark upon a new word. My "word of the month" for April is allow. You see, the single and yet most major flaw to emboding empowerment was my urge to perfection, which is how I came about my perversed mentality of reflecting over what I did wrong. This month, instead of aiming for unattainable perfection, I will simply allow. Allow new experiences, ideas, relationships, and even mistakes into my life. Starting this April, I cannot and will not control everything; I cannot and will not try to mold everything to perfection. However, I can and will allow whatever comes my way, whether good or bad.
So April, if you allow me to, I am ready.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
One Year and a Coffee Cup Later
"If you don't create change, change will create you."
-Unknown
This morning I went to Starbucks with my friend only to discover ground-shaking news. Starbucks has officially released its new logo. An artsy looking women with thick, black-framed glasses called my name in the crowded room. I walked over to get my tall, decaf, Cinnamon-dulce latte and there it was, right in front of my very own eyes. Now if you ask me, the logo has simplified in meaning. By demolishing the actual title of the company on the cup, the symbol (the mermaid) could represent anything. Which got me thinking, has Starbucks lost all its entity? While I pondered such pandemonium I remembered that regardless of the visual circumstance one thing will always remain the same: its coffee. Therefore I believe that change is inevitable; change transpires. It is truly every second of every day. And lastly, change is life.
Believe it or not, it has been over a year since I have had my blog. This very notion has just occurred to me today, which led me to reread the first blog post I have ever written. While reading it, I had discovered a tremendous revelation, like an epiphany, there it was: my words, my thoughts, my everything at that period of my life. Like a flashlight, my words, my thoughts, and everything had shone right in front of my very eyes. Like a flashlight, it was clear just how much as changed, just how much I have changed.
So in comparision to my rant towards the new Starbucks logo, I believe it comes down to this. Whether I find it appealing or not, Starbucks will always and continue to renovate over time. While appealing or not, I will always and continue to grow over time. However, no renovation will ever affect the key essential to Starbucks, the heart of the company: their coffee. With this said, no personal renovation, nothing that may come and go in my life, will ever affect the key essential, the heart of it all: myself. Therefore I believe that change is inevitable; change transpires. It is truly every second of every day. And lastly, change is life.
PS-My prolonged discussion of change has inspired me to tweak my blog posts. Every month I will abide to a word, one to insprie to live. I will change my word every month because, after all, change is life, right? And just so you know, my word for March is empowerment.
Until then, that's all for now :)
-Unknown
This morning I went to Starbucks with my friend only to discover ground-shaking news. Starbucks has officially released its new logo. An artsy looking women with thick, black-framed glasses called my name in the crowded room. I walked over to get my tall, decaf, Cinnamon-dulce latte and there it was, right in front of my very own eyes. Now if you ask me, the logo has simplified in meaning. By demolishing the actual title of the company on the cup, the symbol (the mermaid) could represent anything. Which got me thinking, has Starbucks lost all its entity? While I pondered such pandemonium I remembered that regardless of the visual circumstance one thing will always remain the same: its coffee. Therefore I believe that change is inevitable; change transpires. It is truly every second of every day. And lastly, change is life.
Believe it or not, it has been over a year since I have had my blog. This very notion has just occurred to me today, which led me to reread the first blog post I have ever written. While reading it, I had discovered a tremendous revelation, like an epiphany, there it was: my words, my thoughts, my everything at that period of my life. Like a flashlight, my words, my thoughts, and everything had shone right in front of my very eyes. Like a flashlight, it was clear just how much as changed, just how much I have changed.
So in comparision to my rant towards the new Starbucks logo, I believe it comes down to this. Whether I find it appealing or not, Starbucks will always and continue to renovate over time. While appealing or not, I will always and continue to grow over time. However, no renovation will ever affect the key essential to Starbucks, the heart of the company: their coffee. With this said, no personal renovation, nothing that may come and go in my life, will ever affect the key essential, the heart of it all: myself. Therefore I believe that change is inevitable; change transpires. It is truly every second of every day. And lastly, change is life.
PS-My prolonged discussion of change has inspired me to tweak my blog posts. Every month I will abide to a word, one to insprie to live. I will change my word every month because, after all, change is life, right? And just so you know, my word for March is empowerment.
Until then, that's all for now :)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Relationships of Snow
Today is January 26, 2011. However, if you were to ask any single person in the Fairfax County area, he or she would say the same thing: today is a snow day. The first snow day of the year. Surprisingly, it had not snowed on my birthday! That is surprising because, until this year, it has snowed on my exact birthday for the last five years (not approximately, but at the least). And with my birthday have passed comes a mind-boggling truth. I, Ella Marie DaCosta Cajayon, am 18. Eighteen. Whether in number form, word form, or spoken aloud, that fact has not sunk in, not even a little. But I will bring up that subject later.
Back to the snow day... it is actually snowing as I speak! Or type, I guess? And that is just it. With the arrival of snow comes this spectacular feeling. A feeling unlike any other; a sight unlike any other. The sky is painted a heavenly white, dropping speckles of snowflakes on the ground. But what is truly remarkable is the spontaneity. The unpredictable mystery of the actually arrival of the snowfall. Regardless of whether your local weatherman predicted it or not, the sight is still astoundingly ravishing.
Kind of like relationships? Like snow, relationships have the whole package. They leave one with a feeling unlike any other, and a sight unlike any other. This last year, people have come into my life like snowflakes on the ground. Completely unpredictable. Snowfall can vary in time. Some are dusting's; some are blizzards. Relationships can vary in time too. Some last a little while; and some stick around. And as snow melts, relationships end.
Relating to my own life, I can count how many relationships have ended, how many snowfalls have melted. So I must ask, why do we wear our pajama pants inside out, flush ice cubes down the toilet, and cross our fingers in anticipation for more? What is this obsession with snow if it melts? What is this obsession with relationships if they go? Bottom line is, beyond the insanity and absurdity, people love snow. People love to watch it fall, and build snowmen and snow angels with their very own hands, minds, and hearts. And in a sense, people do build relationships with their own hands, minds, and hearts as well. But do people love snow like they love relationships knowing there is an expiration date? After all, while snow melts, snow arrives once again as do relationships come and go.
Now back to my birthday. It is sad to think that the people I spent my 17th birthday with are not the same people who stayed with me through my 18th birthday. Just like snow, those relationships melted in time. And as the year lingered, I felt weak without the people that had melted away. But last weekend, on my 18th birthday, the people who were there for me proved the very reason why relationships are worth the risk after all. Just like snow, you love relationships, even with the knowledge that it may not last forever. And what a perfect way to start my new life, as 18; watching the snow fall as new relationships arise. I survived the blizzard of relationships last year. And most certainly, I can conquer the blizzard again if I must.
"Winters come, my love the winters go and time stacks up in piles like winter snow. And everything you love and hold so dear, it won't really matter when we disappear."
-Ingrid Michaelson
Back to the snow day... it is actually snowing as I speak! Or type, I guess? And that is just it. With the arrival of snow comes this spectacular feeling. A feeling unlike any other; a sight unlike any other. The sky is painted a heavenly white, dropping speckles of snowflakes on the ground. But what is truly remarkable is the spontaneity. The unpredictable mystery of the actually arrival of the snowfall. Regardless of whether your local weatherman predicted it or not, the sight is still astoundingly ravishing.
Kind of like relationships? Like snow, relationships have the whole package. They leave one with a feeling unlike any other, and a sight unlike any other. This last year, people have come into my life like snowflakes on the ground. Completely unpredictable. Snowfall can vary in time. Some are dusting's; some are blizzards. Relationships can vary in time too. Some last a little while; and some stick around. And as snow melts, relationships end.
Relating to my own life, I can count how many relationships have ended, how many snowfalls have melted. So I must ask, why do we wear our pajama pants inside out, flush ice cubes down the toilet, and cross our fingers in anticipation for more? What is this obsession with snow if it melts? What is this obsession with relationships if they go? Bottom line is, beyond the insanity and absurdity, people love snow. People love to watch it fall, and build snowmen and snow angels with their very own hands, minds, and hearts. And in a sense, people do build relationships with their own hands, minds, and hearts as well. But do people love snow like they love relationships knowing there is an expiration date? After all, while snow melts, snow arrives once again as do relationships come and go.
Now back to my birthday. It is sad to think that the people I spent my 17th birthday with are not the same people who stayed with me through my 18th birthday. Just like snow, those relationships melted in time. And as the year lingered, I felt weak without the people that had melted away. But last weekend, on my 18th birthday, the people who were there for me proved the very reason why relationships are worth the risk after all. Just like snow, you love relationships, even with the knowledge that it may not last forever. And what a perfect way to start my new life, as 18; watching the snow fall as new relationships arise. I survived the blizzard of relationships last year. And most certainly, I can conquer the blizzard again if I must.
"Winters come, my love the winters go and time stacks up in piles like winter snow. And everything you love and hold so dear, it won't really matter when we disappear."
-Ingrid Michaelson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)