Happy New Dear

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."  

- Hal Borland  

Just as quick as the new year arrived, there he was: happy New Dear to me. I swear it was as if he had stolen the imaginary clipboard I carry, which contains a list of all my qualifications (and yes, he even wore plaid without knowing what that means to me).

Just as quick as the new year arrived, there I was: petrified. While I was checking off the boxes on my imaginary clipboard, it was all I could do to rewind my love life in a timeline fashion. There was the bad-boy-gone-good-gone-bad-again who evolved from a silly nickname, to the boy who made a 1,000 paper cranes for me in hopes of making my wildest dreams come true, to my first ever heartbreak. Then there was the skater boy who went from being the guy who's name and hands were practically puzzle pieces to mine to transpiring into my first ever heartbreaking. Which led to the messes that cluttered the time in-between then and now, now being the new year and my new dear. 

Because as quick as the arrival of the new year was the arrival of my new dear.

The feeling that emerged with this new dear was uncanny to the sensation that escalates during the last five seconds before the New Year's Eve ball drops. Except this time, rather than celebrating the new year afterwards, I turned off the TV. As easy as a click of a button, I closed the door on someone who deserves an abundance of my time, or at least time that surpasses a New Year's countdown.

But I am starting to believe that the concept of years and time itself are simply our way of measuring memories and inventing tangible pieces of hope and possibilities. Although I may have turned off the TV on my new dear, I have a whole year to figure out the reason why, which may explain why we make New Year's resolutions to begin with.

Just as I can count on the New Year's Eve ball to drop at a specifically given time, likewise, eventually I can count on my imaginary clipboard to drop at any given time.

And although the countdown has ceased, the TV is now turned back on: Happy New Year's, and eventually, Happy New Dear to me.