“...and that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength.”
-Audre LordeIt is like marking your hand print on wet cement on the sidewalk. I have found myself caught in a train wreck kind of predicament, in which I am caught under this immense battle I was completely oblivious and unaware that I was even tackling.
The thing about cement is that it is a layer of stability. It paves the sidewalks acting as a foundation protecting the ground people walk on to get to where they need to be and back. It is sturdy enough to carry the weight placed upon it.
Just like cement, my skin is a layer of stability. It paves my vulnerability acting as a foundation protecting the heart that I constantly worry people could walk on in order to get where they need to be and back. However, while cement is sturdy enough to carry the weight placed upon it, cement has the ability to crack.
That is just it.
People have found ways to slip through the cracks and under my skin, my skin that I thought was as groundbreaking as steel. And while that realization haunts me, I have acknowledged that rather than wearing skin of steel, I wear an armor made of cement. When it comes down to it, maybe the mere ability for one to be able to have the strength to slip through the cracks in the cement, the ability to get under my skin, maybe that is what makes relationships worth holding onto.
Therefore, my conclusion to this battle is not the arrival of my knight in shining armor, but rather embracing the knight in shining cement that I wear every single day. My skin is thick, but my heart is thicker and maybe it is okay if people slip through the cracks of my skin that I have paved and find that out for themselves. After all, by wearing the knight in shining cement all it takes is repaving the sidewalks to smooth the cracks.
I do not need a hero to get me out of this train wreck of a predicament. Adapting my cracked skin that faces the chances of people walking on it, in order to get to where they need to be and back, and the markings of hand prints on wet cement and on my heart, that is the hero in itself: my knight in shining cement.
I think it's hard to accept the prints people make on our hearts when we don't necessarily like it, but it's so true that no matter how much people try to armor themselves others sometimes slip through the cracks anyway. It takes a lot of strength to accept the prints that hurt us, and try to repair them, because I guess even if we try to deny their impact on us, the damage is done. I really like the cement analogy- it's beautiful and inspires me to see the power that we have over ourselves to keep the good impressions and recover from the bad ones.
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