Perfection

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

-Anna Quindlen

Two days ago I wrote to my mom. I told her about how, although I've been down, things have been improving. As I wrote to her, I was in search of the origin to my happiness (if that makes any sense). Then it occurred to me; while I was writing a train of thoughts, the train took a halt. I wasn't happy because my expectations weren't catching up to my reality. My happiness, basically, requires perfection. You could say that idea is extremely pressuring, and dramatic, but then again what is perfection? I keep trying to attain "it", whatever "it" may be, but I think that's near to impossible. Does perfection even exist? I guess in a sense "it" has to. Though perfection may arise as a formulated opinion, an opinion is still a thought, "it" is still something. So logically, perfection does exist. Since "it" exists, then there has to be a way I can attain "it". Right? Well again, I guess attaining "it" would vary based on one's idea of perfection; and personally, my definition of perfection isn't exactly realistic.

Now the people stuck in the halted train can sing, and rejoice, because the train is fixed, and is in motion once again. Okay, I realize my metaphor sounds ridiculous, maybe it is, actually it definitely is. Okay, I'll drop it. The point I'm trying to come across is that now I have discovered my problem, I can fix it. My definition of perfection is definitely not realistic. Though I like to believe it is, truthfully it is not. Therefore, why should I kill myself over perfection, over living "it"? I'm going to stop trying so hard to make everything perfect. That will be my new "it". Maybe "it" will work, maybe "it" won't. I won't know until I find out.

Hopefully, I didn't sound like a complete lunatic with this post. Hopefully, I sounded somewhat sane. Hopefully, this made an impact on you. And hopefully, I didn't waste your time, and you'll want to keep reading for more.