dear blog,

i love college. these last two months words can't describe, so i'll let these pictures do the job. but don't think this is the last you've heard of me.

love always,

The Good in Goodbye

Glassy eyes, luggage in hand, words of goodbye. These are the three components my parents have prepared for all their lives, as well as mine. Because you could say that these three components will intertwine, join forces, to what we will call: college move-in day. All the x's marked on the calendar in my head have mounted to this very day. The countdown is over; it's here.

Glassy eyes, luggage in hand, words of goodbye.

Now of course, I need to blog before I leave! After all, my room is the only place I have ever been able to write in. My room with the walls I have decorated; my room where my walls are exposed. Therefore, I must say that the idea of leaving my room, parting from all I have created and known, is a chilling yet radical concept.

Glassy eyes, luggage in hand, words of goodbye.

My mom is such a brilliant woman. She has been my guardian angel for four years now; and yet her past words still inspire me to this day. Before her last trip to the Philippines, she left her family with a food for thought, the glass half full per se, the good in goodbye. She told her family, and she continuely recites in my head for preparation for tomorrow that there is no such thing as goodbye, but rather, see you soon.

If I abide by my mom's words, then there truly is something good in goodbye. The presence of good is, in fact, the irony of goodbye. Because if I abide by my mom's words, then there consequently is no such thing as goodbye. Hence, the good in goodbye is that goodbye does not exist. With abiding to my mom's words, I can say that I am finally ready.

Glassy eyes, luggage in hand, see you soon.

Giving Up the Anchor

39 days. 39 days until my friends, surroundings, environment, my life will turn a complete 360. Because in 39 days, I am finally leaving for college. With this notion practically taking hostage of my mind, I frequently ponder about my past, my relationships, my mistakes, and particularly how I have gotten to where I am today. When doing so, the very constant, singular question always challenges me: why do people always leave?

I hope this post does not come across like an invitation to a self-pity party. That is not what I am trying to impose; simply, I am attempting to accomplish the reason why people relentlessly come in and out of my life. And what I am realizing is that the answer to my question is an elementry, yet reoccurring, inevitable concept. The concept or so-called answer is: change.

So here is my theory. Maybe relationships are like a free swinging door, because the people that enter and leave our lives are key components to a forthcoming cycle of change. Maybe these relationships are not granted to last forever because maybe in order to fully transform into who you are supposed to become, you must let go and free yourself of who you were and who you are now. Maybe these relationships that we can call our own right now, we must grasp on to, and enjoy to the fullest while they last. In contrast, maybe these relationships that we have lost are like anchors to our souls; they weigh heavy in our hearts, but if we struggle to hold on, we will never fully be able to become who we are deemed to be.

Before I stop my seemingly endless rant, I want to address something. Starting now, I do not need 39 days to face the inevitable. Starting now, I am freely accepting the fact that people will and always leave. Starting now, I am befriending change and giving up the anchor.

"Maybe the past is an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you are in order to become who you will be."
-Sex and the City