2010, where do I even begin? Well for one, this year has truly been a year to remember. It is strange; I can't fully describe it. But I guess I could start by saying that this year has been a roller coaster ride for me. If you know me at all, you know that I have never actually ridden a "real" roller coaster before, but that is only a technicality! And from the way this year has evolved, I can tell you that I most certainly do not need the King's Dominion experience to know what a "real" roller coaster feels like.
You see, at the start of this year, the ride began up and away. However towards the summer, that is where the ride really began. Because towards the summer, I faced a massive drop. Think of the most extreme roller coaster drop, flipping upside, plummeting massive speeds, facing motion of the impossible. Well whatever extreme you can come up with, that drop can describe where I was and how I felt at this time of my life. I can honestly say I had hit my lowest low, vulnerable and out of control. I lost myself within the drop. But now the ride is reaching its end, and I find that everything is being put together. Everything is finally starting to make sense. And I realize now that the ride would not have resulted the way it did if a single event was altered or had not occurred. But man, what a hell of a ride.
Looking back, I can tell you I am changed person. I have come so far, and regardless of where I stand today, good or bad; I am personally so proud of myself. This was a year of new relationships. Burning bridges, building anew. And here I am now, with less than a month left until I turn 18. Like baggage, I will take what I have learned and simply, carry on. Who knows what will come my way at 18? I can definitely say I did not imagine 17 being quite like it has lived up to be. Whatever the case, I am up to the challenge. And here I am now, waiting in line for the next ride: the ride of 2011.
Here I am now, but I'll leave it at this: rest in peace 2010 ♥
"Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis."
-Martha Beck
Seventeen years young, and here I am in this whole entire world with my whole entire life to live. For awhile, I lived my life in a sheltered cocoon, a cocoon of security. Security from a boyfriend always by my side, security from close friends that were suppose to last a lifetime. But truth be told, people come and go. And just like that, my cocoon cracked. As my cocoon fell apart, I felt as if I did as well. But broken, I will never be. Stronger is an aspect I am starting to see. And in fact, it is not that my cocoon cracked, but rather unveiled. Unveiling a whole new self. Seventeen years young, and here I am. This is my metamorphosis.
It all began with the movies, you know, those chick flicks that I watch religiously. You see, these movies helped me conceive the idea that a "happily ever after" only consists of a knight in shining armor, whom would save me from a life that I had once known before. A life of loneliness; a life of living in the past. Starting now, I will no longer live like how I described above, and here is why. I have made it on my two feet, without the cocoon of security I once thought I needed. I realize now that I do not need anyone else; I realize now that I never did. I realize now that people will forever come and go, yet people will never destine my happiness. People will never be my "happily ever after". My real "happily ever after" is this: my new life of moving on with no dependency on anybody, but myself. My real "happily ever after" is this: my new profound metamorphosis.