Relationships

"All families are embarrassing. And if they're not embarrassing, then they're dead. "
-Kitty (That 70's Show)

Hi there :)
I'd sum up this week as: chaotic, brawling, unpredictable, just one hot mess! I technically still haven't had a full 5 day school week, and if it weren't for the events that occurred, I'd be cheering for joy.

Third Quarter Burn Out. Junior Year. 2010. It's official. I'm dying, but that's a bit melodramatic. The whole idea of college freaks me out. Actually, I'll be experiencing the whole living-on-your-own, growing up, responsibility thing (that would typically appear on a Full House episode) cause Dad is heading to Vegas for a business trip. And don't get me wrong, I love Full House! But do the math: Dad's trip=FREEDOM. But if any parents are reading this, take a breather. I'm not playing the full parental card alone; my aunt is staying with me and my sister. Now granted I will have a lot more responsibility over the next few days; granted a lot will happen over the next few days; and if this burn out doesn't kill me, granted you'll here about everything that went on.

So I decided this post should be about relationships. No specifics. I'm talking about the whole gang: the boyfriend, the best friend, the family. Everyone. This week my relationship with my best friend and my family were greatly affected. Just like any pair of best friends, my best friend and I go back, and no matter how bad it got, in the end she was there. She's helped me stand tall, even when I felt small. No pun intended. Here's the funny thing, she's the kind of person who you can't be mad at. Sure, it may happen, and you may say,"Oh, but this time she went over the line..." ect. But give it 3 minutes...and you'll feel like an idiot for blowing up. At least I did. She can somehow deal with my insanity, and that's why I love her.

Now family. It's easily said that the 1950's cliche of a family has been stripped down, and replaced with the 21st century family, filled with anguish, complications, not exactly a picture perfect Hallmark card. But that's life, and in a sense I find that the worst situations ignite into something beautiful. Personally, I've discovered that it's the worst situations that link my family and me closer. Family being close? Ha, yeah right. But in all seriousness, families are suppose to stick together. Family will always love you. What more could we ask for?

So the reason why I was out for two days this week? I had a rough patch, also known as anxiety. What can I say? If you know my family, you know it runs deep in our blood. Our unusual, quirky, weird Filipino blood. And I would be frustrated about that, but anxiety proves I'm part of my family. I'm so lucky. And that's what I have to say about relationships.

Scratch that.

Actually, when I first posted this I spelled relationships wrong, I spelled it "realationships". As I was about to fix my typo I realized a distinct word stuck out to me, real. Relationships are real, in order to have a successful relationship one needs to be true, real.

And there you go.

Get To Know Me :)

"I feel and see and hear, Harlem, I hear you:
hear you, hear me---we two---you, me, talk on this page."
-Langston Hughes: Theme for English B

I'm still getting adjusted to the idea of having a blog. I find it very neat! I hope to get personal with followers, and anyone who comes across this blog. Here I'm posting a poem I wrote back in September for school. I got an 100 on it, so I am hoping that means it's decent! I'd love to share a few insights that I've thought about, but unfortunately homework and school is first priority. This mountain load of work better be worthwhile in the end!

I promise I'll try to post more frequently, but for right now you can read my poem. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it helps you get to know me a little more. If you have any comments or suggestions feel free to comment me or message me! I would love to hear any input.

THEME FOR ENGLISH B (Rewrite)

True is defined as “being in accordance with the actual state of affairs.”
In this poem, you will be in accordance with my actual state of affairs.

I am *sixteen years old, and learning more and more each day.
I was raised Catholic, believing a single man changed my life.
I do believe in an all mighty God,
yet I won’t say He’s the only person who has changed the way I live today.
And if you were wondering,
my name is Daniella Marie DaCosta Cajayon;
But for your sake, call me Ella.

I was born in the tropical islands of the Philippines, ironically a land I barely know about,
because though born on an island, I grew up in a small, quaint town known as Oakton.
In this town of many families, I have a family I can call my own.
These people taught me what love is all about.
Growing up, I lived with a dad, a mom, a little sister, and a grandmother,
yet I hadn’t grown up until two years ago,
When my mom joined the angels in heaven.

I’m not athletic, and I am as flexible as a twig.
Therefore I can’t tell you what sport I play for my school,
yet I can tell you that I participate in my school’s choir.
If there were one thing that came naturally to me that would be singing.
Singing came to me before I could walk, or talk for that matter.
When I sing, I sing through a tunnel of emotions,
Whether joyful or gloomy, by the end of a song I reach the end of the tunnel.
Though I can’t say singing gives me answers to life,
I can admit it is a hobby-created outlet.

My mom never placed me on a conveyer belt to her unfulfilled dreams,
she simply placed me on a conveyer belt to mine.
She believed anything and everything is possible, even if the sciences say otherwise.
And I judge that as of right now I could have been an entirely different person.
I could have been the girl forced to become the next Mia Hamm, when she wanted to become the next Annie Leibovitz.
But I’m just the girl who wants to sing, and for my Mom that’s just enough.

And I can easily say that without her, this poem wouldn’t have
the same lines, the same words, the same dream.
Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today, which is myself.

*Since this was written last year obviously I'm not sixteen anymore, haha :)

Who Am I Anyway

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly."
-Paul McCartney

I'm Ella, seventeen and alive.
I wouldn't say that's my full definition, but it's a start. I'm just a kid, and I make mistakes. No one's perfect right? Yet it is always known to me, toward me. Always reminded. Not to be selfish or anything.

Well here I am making this blog. I'll be totally blunt, I'm going to rant a lot. I may have readers, and I may have none. I may sound absolutely naive and I may be annoying. But here's the thing, everyone needs an outlet and here's mine.

I'm Ella, I'm a songwriter and a dreamer.
I would love to go somewhere with singing, and as seen in American Idol, that dream is aspired by many. My mom never put me on a conveyor belt to her dreams, but mine. She let me be, and two years ago she joined the angels in Heaven. Her free spirited outlook has lingered on; a personality like her's will easily live on forever. I will admit: I get angry. A teenage girl deserves her mom, right? But she is in a better place now, and that is no line. I really am happy for her. It's difficult to think about but I will stand strong in the end, even if it all goes wrong.

I'm Ella, and this is my blog :)